My Dad has a curse; not any ordinary, like, evil curse…….. it is a curse that makes him curse while driving the car!!!!!!! Bad right? Any way, I will tell you a few tales about my dad’s curse! They are very funny stories and I hope you will enjoy them. Instead of me repeating the curse words that my dad says, I will write Bleep!!!! I will now begin! (Editor’s note: please remember that you can’t believe everything you read on the internet. Also, a curse to Alex is something like “dang”, “darn”, and “shoot”.)
One day we were driving in Germany when suddenly HONK “Bleep!!!!!!” my dad yelled. He pulled over with a very stressed, grumpy, pouty face. “Bleep!!! Bleep!!! Bleep!!!!” He muttered again. My mom looked at him with a tired, stressed face, “They were not honking at you” she said. “Bleep!!!!!” My Dad grumbled. He looked at the traffic and pulled back on to the road. (Editor’s note: No children were injured during the making of this story, but some might be injured in the telling of this story.)
Hope you liked that tale! Here is another story from Germany. Enjoy!
One day Patrick and I sat in the backseat playing on our phones then we heard our dad say tiredly “Is this our exit?” “No I don’t think so” My mom replied. My dad said, “This looks like a good exit to get off.” Then he pulled off of the freeway. “What?” My mom said “Get back on the freeway”. My dad grumpily turned around on a round-about and got back on the freeway as me and Patrick started discussing the incident that had just happened. (Editor’s note: This story is substantially correct.)
That one did not have any bad words!
One day we were driving to a new hotel in the big red van (look at the picture) with my Dad, Mom, Patrick, Grandma and Grandpa Sherry. We were in a small town on small streets. My dad was driving the car and my mom was sitting up front with him to hopefully keep him going in the right direction. We made it to a corner and my dad decided that it would be shorter going the wrong way on a one-way street. He pulled into the small street that was, at the moment, empty. There was a lot of pedestrians on the side of the road walking by. Then suddenly a big burst of traffic turned the corner heading straight at us!!!!! My dad pulled onto the side-walk so the cars could pass but it seemed like the cars would not stop coming. Soon the pedestrians had to start coming around our car because it turned out that my Dad had pulled over onto the side-walk. (PS. Dad, just to tell you, never break the law if you think it is going to save you time.) One of the pedestrians in a blue jacket came up to our window and said “You know that you are on a one-way street???” (like he was a lot of help with that comment) Then the man in the blue jacket went up to the corner of the street and stopped the traffic for us (maybe he was more of a help than I thought) and waved us to come out of the one-way street. We made it out safely and luckily we are all still healthy and not dead. (Editor’s note: Please read another point of view on this story at my post on Dingle)
This is a joke that Patrick and I would make fun of. Whenever my Dad hit a curb in England he would yell “BLEEP!!!!!” So we made a joke that when ever you heard Babump and “BLEEP!!!” you knew that Dad had hit a curb. So our joke is Babump – “Bleep!!!” Babump “Bleep!!!” Babump “Bleep!!!!” And so on. Dad hit a curb about 8-9 times in the UK so you get the idea. (Editors note: I think only hitting 8-9 curbs is a pretty good record considering how many curbs I missed.)
One day in Turkey we were driving from Izmir to Chanakkale. We came to a toll booth so that we could pay and drive on the toll road. When we got up there we did not know how to pay “Honk!!!” we heard. “Bleep!!!” My dad grumbled. Suddenly a man holding a trash bag came up and started yelling at us in a foreign language. “Where do we pay???” My dad tried asking him. He motioned us to back up the car, my dad looked worried about taking orders from a man with a green vest, on the side of the free way holding a trash bag, but he backed up anyway. He motioned behind the car, we looked behind the car and over on the side of the freeway was a big brown building with a big sign that said Buy Tickets Here.(Editor’s note: there was no sign; and if there were a sign, it would have been in Turkish, a language of us can read) My dad thanked the man and pulled into one of the parking spaces. My mom got out of the car to go buy a ticket. When she got back in the car my dad said “Bleep!!! How did I miss that building!!!!???? It is right there!!!” And then we drove safely onto the freeway. (Editor’s note: PLEASE read another point of view on this story at our Chanakkale post.)
Did you like that one??? If you did you will love this one!!! It is my favorite!!!! I call it “The Pretzel Man Saved Our Lives”. Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the same day as the last story this happened. I would call this one of Dad’s “Bad car days.” We came out of the restaurant and got in our car. We pulled onto the road, no problem. Then we got ready to turn onto the round-about and “Honk!!!!!!!” “Honk!!!!” “Honk!!!” “Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep!!!!” My dad yelled “Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep!!!!” My mom yelled “AAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!” I yelled. My dad had made a wrong turn and we were all surrounded by cars and none of them where going the same way as us!!!! “Bleep!!!!” My dad yelled again. Suddenly there was a tapping on the window, we all turned hoping to see a police officer that was going to help us get out of this mess. We all looked and saw a man with a big plate of pretzels on his head, I felt myself trying not to laugh, why was a man trying to sell us pretzels at a time like this????? Dad rolled down the window and the pretzel man actually stopped the traffic and motioned us to back up and get back on the road. I heard Dad say “Bleep” Babump! as we hit a curb but other than that we made it out of the mad traffic all right!!!! As we pulled onto the freeway I heard Mom say, “We should have bought some of the pretzels, they looked good.”
I smiled for two reasons: #1 I was glad that we had not died #2 I could embarrass my dad on the blog by saying: “My brave dad that chose to be brave by going around the world bravely with his family, got rescued by a man selling pretzels!!!” Ha I said it!!! (More like I wrote it) I feel much much better!!!!! (Editor’s note: how is that for a back-handed compliment?)